I hate

I hate the thought of leaving you
or not seeing you
when I’m around
Not speaking to you
Not showing you what I’ve found.
I hate the thought of not sharing food
Or holding back my arms
That want to wrap around you
And your displeasing
Stare
I hate that i care
I hate the thought that another woman
May take you away
I hate that I’m slightly jealous
Or mostly jealous
More than i let on
I hate that I can’t see what’s going on
I hate that logic tells me no
And my heart says yes
My soul is in-between encouraging the tests
She says to follow heart
She says to hold a body
Like god
She says to tease the tongue
Of senses here in form
She says it’s OK to not know
And to follow whats before
And she encourages it’s not a dream
I hate that I’m not letting go
And keep circling back
Procrastinating
Debating whether i can wrap around your back?
She tells me to be quieter and listen to the sounds
Of heart beats breathing in the light
Where understanding lands
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