Ancestor Guilt

I’m guilty- times past- cast dark shadows- here and now- I hear the shouts of ancestors- locked- clocked, their lives- shocked, in spite- body-slaves- crimes + lies- cries of ties to dark places- traces of faces- memory loss- costs of the earth- worth-less- a test to the mind- mental illness- stillness- death- murder- I herd you- cared- for you, shared with you- paired with thyme and put in stew- animal ancestors- pests- bombarded nests- infest-ation- debate- meditation, while we go to war- sat at home, being mother- sending brother to uncover the cost of humanity- where’s the sanity of a witch- bitch- please I am a healer- feeler, family feeder- breeder- of life- strife, for our home- tribe- stoned to bones- screaming- shunned- tears- projecting fears- a world unsafe- guilty, a home maker- baker, for the sake of- man- understand- I have a plan- writing poems while you work, while you fight- I’m searching for mine- a kind, slow pace- your in the rat race- supported- deported to your land- I’m stretching a hand- in walls of home- adventures- grown- blown wide open- space to flourish- a child- teaching him not to hide- I’m a guide- from this ancient darkness, I’m trying to hold a light, give sight- free up some space from, this tight- cave- relearn how to behave- god, I need this space- we all can live this way- still I’m guilty for crimes behind and before- you hold me to the wall- running- rolling- I fall to your surrender- power- security- luring me to an obscurity- a tree- entwined in the blind-eyes, cast this spell- a mind unwell- a spell. A spell.

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