Am I… Too Much?

Too much?
Am I.
Triggered by my own mouth?
Words roll and I’m open,
But am I open- too much?
Am I- Too Much?
Do i speak- too much
Say what doesn’t need to be said
I fed- The empty touch
Extended- too much
Being- too much, out there…
I feel I want to move away, back in here.
But i push on though as it feels like a fear
Then it comes to play, again.
Am I- too much?
Am I looking for a crutch?
The mind is full of fear
And so i act on my heart which wants to be
But my energy is extended
And my mind tries to mend
The space the heart grows
Too far away from this window
Which leaves me feeling
Too much.
Am I- Too much
(am i too much for me)
How do I want to be?
-Open and free
Not bound by a game
Feeling my way through doors of past- games + games
You had to and have to play
A game of space
I am no good at.
My heart follows it magnetic radar
And my words follow it, too far.
Which is the trouble you see
-Too much
I’m afraid of me.
Am I- too much
I wish you would tell me to slow down
To be still
That its OK
Going away doesn’t mean your not there.
Am I grabbing
To keep energy surrounding
Heart, opening
Hoping for – ATTENTION
Did I mention,
Sometimes I feel too much
Too much there
Too much not here
Too much out there
Too much not- within, and I share, and share, and share
-Then there is no now.
I want clear lists of how
To be.
Am i too me?
Is it too much?
In searching for acceptance
For balance
For love?
Am I- too much?
Or can you handle it.
Holding space for it.
Movements of past and present
Anxiety in
Bound and broken
Soaking in waters holy
Softening. (Like hardened clay laid to melt in water.)
I need reminding- to be still.
-how silence is a sweet medicine.
-Being me is not a sin
+ How i am held in silence, not rejected.
Held in it.
Held in the silence of being too me.
As in the silence I am found.
Past the tones of all before and in-front.
Present in the silence of here.
In a too me that is me, all of me
Welcomed pure +clean
In my dark waters.
I’v found my place again
Reminded by Artemis
To kiss the silent witness
Laid bare with treasures that walk to her lips
And feed her sole
In space held
For all of her.

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