Mental notes on facebook

I want to delete facebook. I want to not scroll. I want to not post things and be filled up by people commentimg or liking and sharing too. I want to not justify my exsistance by being on this platform i want to not feel connected online but in real life and see people that fill me up and i fill up. I want to shine not on here but in my skin, not robotically.
I want to not be addicted to coming on here everyday, like a smoker or alcoholic needing their fix. I want to not measure myself by my image i share, i want to not take pictures and use them for facebook… i want to not have an online version of the… real me.
I want to unwire these wires. I want to do proper self care and look to fill myself up in my own light or visit friends… I do worry so many people are plugged into this we dont even live in that world any more where we knock on doors, i mean its almost alien to not message and arrange our furtures.
And i worry ill miss out on so much event sharing but hope my friends will keep me looped if i leave. If i leave…(like im still thinking about it when my gut knows it wants to.)
Thing is i get so much from it. So much from sharing my life. My image. My being. My mind, my stories. Thats ok, in real life. But not on this- really now. I know others benifit too from my benifit. But do we really want this to be the way. To be how we feel most connected, in illusion of a touch screen smart phone. How i will miss the virtual real people who “get me”.
I want to deeper love myself and be more available! For myself and my life by not being so available to plug into this virtual life where we all share our lives to gain deeper connection that demeans our actual living life…!
Ive watched a lot of things on youtube about tech, and what its doing to us, and it does make me think ok the best way for me to act is to retreat from my addiction to technology and deeply acknowledge the threads it weaves beneath the surface which denies it all and covers up with the things that are good, like an addict!
-Need to make new healthy brain patterns and links to nature and tribe.

Even the fact that iv shared this means i question my own mind and havent got tribe friends family links around me who id rather talk to so im asking facebook for feedback?! The validation of facebook. I really dislike how fb asks, whats on your are you feeling. Why dont i journal all this instead? Like facebook is Now my dear diary. Like im safe here?!!

Its like a system that takes power away without clear boundaries… Like i feel like facebook should come with rules of how to use sensibly and what not to ask it for or rely on it for. I dont rely on this but i do acknowledge i get topped up when other underatand or appreciate. So this energy could be redirected. I have a blog so i can Direct all my creative energy there. And meet like minded tribe to share with not online.


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